and the stencil:

Well. I go to concerts ALL the time. Especially Incubus shows haha. I've seen them 17 times and counting.

But I would have to say either Incubus at UC Berkeley Greek Theater July 14, 2007 or Incubus at Red Rocks in Colorado July 18, 2007.

Today, January 7th, 2008 is my 23rd birthday. This lyric really applies now "A decade ago I never thought I would be at 23 on the verge of spontaneous combustion woe is me. But I guess that it comes with the territory. An ominous landscape of neverending calamity. I need you to hear, I need you to see. That I have had all I can take and exploding seems like a definite possiblity, to me...." Oh and I've got pink hair and purple bangs. Two new nifty tattoos. It's been a long time since I've written in the Ole eljay. I got a half sleeve in memorial to my Daddy and a beautiful Ganesha on my left inner arm above the Koi/Perspective pries.. I'm all tatted up. Lots of things have happened. I was actually thrown in a psychiatric hospital in October. Involentarily. Woo. Not really. It was hell on earth. I'm just trying to survive. That's my goal. I had a huge nervous and emotional breakdown after dad died. It was all downhill after that I attempted suicide thats where the psych hosptial comes in. I've been diagnosed with major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, adjustment disorder and a whole mess of other shit. I'm on lots of meds. GO ME! My psychologist and doctor says that it will take 2-3 years at least because I fell apart completely. I feel like a child again. Lost, alone, and I feel orphaned. So, of course I"m out of work and on disablity. I go see Benny Kenney and Christopher Kilmore of Incubus on the 22ndd YAY! I miss the Incuboys. Then Foo Fighters on Feb 2nd. Then off to my best friend's in Iowa on Feb 11 for ten days. Anyway, that's what's been going. on. But since nobody elese will probably remember. Happy birthday to me.

Yeah it's taken a while, but this was on the booklet well inside of the booklet I wrote for Dad's memorial....

Gerald Gordon Frank
Jerry
Dad passed away at University of California: San Francisco Medical Center on
Sunday July 29, 2007; after a four year illness. Dad was a beloved husband, father, mentor, and friend. He was a loyal employee of Raley‚s for 32 years and throughout those years made many close friends in all ranks of the company and even beyond the company into the vendors.

Dad had an amazing sense of humor and loved all sorts of jokes, mainly practical ones. He enjoyed methodically planning them out; it didn‚t matter how long it took to get even to those who had pulled pranks on him. You always knew when it was him, because you could hear his uproarious laughter down the halls.
Only his generosity and kindness of spirit surpass his keen sense of humor. He had the most integrity of any person I have ever known and passed that down to us kids. He taught us to always work hard and we could have or be whatever we wanted to be. He always wanted us to be happy.
Dad would open his heart to anyone. He was always available, no matter how busy he was, to listen to you and lend a compassionate hand to help. He never asked for anything in return, just the same friendship returned back to him, and it shows with all of you in attendance this morning. Dad would be touched to know that so many people cared for him. He genuinely cared about each and every single friend, family member, employee and the company he worked for.
The only person he loved more was my mother Peggy. They were together for 37 years and they were the best. When you were around my mom and dad you genuinely could feel the love and deep connection between them. They were a pleasure to be around and the best parents anyone could hope to have.
Dad is preceded in death by his loving mother Maxine Love Frank, and his father Bruce Herbert Frank. Grandparents Gizelle and Edgar Koch. Also his closest friend and partner in many a practical joke Denny Desimone. I remember him coming home time after time with bags from the Sharper Image because he and Denny had gone on their lunch hour. „Don‚t tell your mother‰ he‚d say and run off to his room to play with his new toys.
Dad will be extremely missed and can never be replaced. I will carry everything he taught me for the rest of my life and try to be a good and generous as he was.
--- Dori

After a lengthy 4 year fight against everything he was going through, mainly complications from Gastric Bypass surgery, my father passed away at University of San Francisco Medical Center in ICU. I was called at work, picked up by my brothers and not more than twenty minutes later the doctor came out and told my mom. I just saw her fall into his arms and I knew it. I screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs ran though the double doors, literally threw myself against a wall and down on the floor and basically threw a tantrum. Screaming bloody murder saying "NO! NO! NO! NO! OH GOD NO!" A doctor apparently came after me. I think she thought I was having a coronary. I just couldn't stop bawling and it was the most adverse visceral reaction I've ever had in my life. I had to call work and let them know and I don't even know who I was talking to, but I just screamed, "MY DAD DIED!" over and over and over. Finally someone got one of my bosses, who cried with me. I work for the same company my father did. He worked there for 32 years. But the doctor who came after me was so nice. She asked if she could hug me and she consoled me. And a chaplain came and I'm not one for religion or anything. I'm agnostic. But it was really nice that my mom and brothers talked to her and she helped me as well. We actually talked about Incubus and how their music has helped me and how it will continue to help me through this awful time. I never even got to say goodbye. The last thing I said to him was on the phone last night. "Bye Dad." But I did go to the hospital on Friday in the ICU and we talked and I got to hug him and tell him I loved him. After they got him all cleaned up. We all went in and got to see him. It was too much for me so I left. But before we left the hospital for home. My mom asked if I wanted to say one last goodbye. and I had her come in with me. He just looked like he was sleeping. He had a breathing tube down his throat. He fought so hard for so long but his poor body just couldn't take it anymore. Before I got there with two of my three brothers (the other one was already there with my mom) they called code blue on my dad. They worked for 50 minutes on him. God, those doctors tried SO HARD but in the end it was just time. I was afraid to touch him. I kind of patted his head a little bit and it was heartbreaking to watch my mom say goodbye. They've been together for 35 years. Since she was 16. But when she was finished she turned around to leave. And I couldn't move. I didn't want to leave my daddy. But I did. Right now I feel so numb. I expect him to come out on his walker down the hallway, knock on my door and ask me to clean the kitchen or go to Jack in The Box for some Tacos for him. It's all too surreal right now. All I know is this. I love him. I always will. I've been daddy's girl since birth. I have three brothers, one older, two younger. And I've always been that to him. And I always will be and I will miss him for the rest of forever.

[b]RIP - Gerald Frank March 5, 1950 - July 29, 2007.[/b]

Yes, dear Michael, yes it is. That is all...

You know I used to hate the winter and the fall because it would make me depressed and I hate the rain. But somehow this year, I'm calm about it. I sit here in my huuugeee comfy Incubus sweater from the Crow era, and I have my hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows and I think to myself what has happened over this past year. I turned 21, I don't remember most of my birthday at all. Ha. In February I am talked into breaking out of my little shell I was in and travel for the first time to see the Division Group. A lot of shit happened, a lot bad, but I am nothing but grateful for it. My father grew gravely ill. We almost lost him, thinking about it, just looking back upon it all, I cannot believe I pulled through it. Then Tempe and Edgefest happened. Then I went to Colorado and was able to see the bigger picture for the first time in 21 years and now my heart is there. Then Bimbo's happened and Incubus reminded me of just why they changed my entire life, with a face melting, soul lifting, ass rocking performance in a teeny jazz club in San Francisco. Then by some force we end up at an afterparty and I finally get to meet him. I tell him of how his band and words change my life and we connect. it made me feel amazing. Now I read the lyrics to the full album of Light Grenades and listen to the clips and I'm literally rendered speechless. Right or wrong this year has been nothing but a learning experience for me. I will never forget 21, not many people do, they are like YAY 21 bitches, I'm legal. But that's not what this year signified to me. I'll sum it up in this. "Resist! Unlearn! Defy! Get out from under precipice and see the sky!" Which is exactly what I did this year. I wouldn't trade it. Everything is an important experience that led me to now...When I fall into regret, I stumble with the words...And the end of the year is going to be so amazing. Light Grenades on November 28th, Christmas season! Then FUCKING THEATRE TOUURRRRR! Oh it's going to be glorious, then come summer. Man, it's going to be incredible. I'm so thankful for everything, truly. If the hardships that transpired this year, didn't, I would have never found out how strong I am, and I would never have finally FINALLY been at peace with who I am. Hmm. I leave you with this.

We’re given a garden
& gave back a parking lot. (we got about fifteen minutes to go…)
Before this audience starts throwing tomatoes, yeah! (it’s not the end, there is more show!
We got about fifteen minutes to go!)
Survived the plague, floated the flood
Just peeked our heads above the mud. No one’s immune, deadening bells,
My God, will we survive ourselves?! I’m not an alarmist
but someone should break the glass (& pull that red, T-lever down!)
to get their attention
start lobbing the light grenades (that burst & blind them with the truth,
an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!)
Survived the plague, floated the flood, just peeked our heads above the mud.
No one’s immune, deafening bells, my God, will we survive ourselves?!
Survived the plague, floated the flood just peeked out heads above the mud.
Wipe off your face, we’ve come this far.
Come on, remember who you are.
Come on! Remember who you are! (Remember! Remember!)
Come one! Remember who you are! (Remember! Remember!)
Come on, Remember who you are!!!!!!

"I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless and in this moment I am happy...HAPPY!"

Pictures, as promised. First here is what I had to do to get into the show -
This is from Brians Blah, Blah blog. He is the phone screener from Live 105's Woody, Tony, and Ravey show: STREETS OF SF HARD ON GIRLS KNEES: Dori was the biggest Incubus fan ever. Yes, she did the nasty, which was LICKING UP HER TOENAIL CLIPPINGS ON THE STREET. She got on her hands and knees on Broadway St. and licked the piss spat (maybe even) diseased-homeless puking pavement until all her toenail clippings were gobbled up, swallowed while scraping her throat going down, and sitting uncomfortably in a hungry tummy. That alone sounds like a pretty hardcore fan of Incubus, but the reason she did this was because, everyone has a band they worship and Incubus is hers. Here’s her story. She has 5 Incubus…actually Brandon Boyd tattoos on her body…2 on her shoulders, 1 on the lower back, 1 on her wrist, and 1 on her ankle. She told me a story of how Incubus’s music saved her life. She used to be like 400 lbs and really lazy, had no motivation to trim down. That was until she heard the inspiring lyrics Incubus sang in the song, “Nice to Know You.” She said that when she heard that song, it made her change her ways. She rose up out of her depression and was comforted by the intense body high reverberating through her body from that song. She saw them live once and they played that song, she had that exact tingling jump throughout her body. I give it the description…BRANDON WAS F-ING HER WITH WORDS, because it sounds like she had a legitimate orgasm upon hearing the song.
And yes, there was an afterparty. It was incredible. I met Brandon, he touched every single one of my tattoos, even moving my clothing out of the way to touch them. He was impressed by the crow, with his handwriting. He was just tracing them with his fingers. It blew my mind, it was pretty surreal. Tony told him what I did to get into the show. He thought it was pretty awesome. I talked to all of them. I was so excited to meet Mikey. I told him "oh man I've been wanting to meet you for so long, I'm just really excited to meet you!" and he's like "That deserves a hug!" and then he hugged me, we took the picture, and I bounced his hair. I couldn't help it. I apologized and he's like "No worries!" I LOVE THAT LITTLE MUNCHKIN! We talked to Ben, Kil, and Jose, seperatly of course. They were all milling about. We went outside, said goodbye to Brandon, chatted with him for a bit. He gave us hugs and kisses on the cheek and we went home. Then I had to be at work the next morning at fuckin 11am. I got no sleep. I finally fell asleep around 4 this morning, over 48 hours later. Jesus.


Without further ado - pictures.

( I picture your face at the back of my eyes, a fire in the attic, a proof of the prize... )

Something amazing happened last night. I cannot tell you what it is yet. I must go to work, but whence I get off, you will have documentation of it all. I love you all.

dads been really sick. pretty much ever since he had the surgery. gastric bypass three years ago with me. i don't really want to get into it. the ones that know, know. he is dying. his organs are failing him. i know he won't last much longer. he's on a ventilator, and iv feeding tube and everything that they can stick down his throat. i went to hold his hand. no grip. i told him i loved him and if he needed to go it was okay. we'd be fine. i love my father. we've always been close because of the weight issue. you think your parents are incvincible then they aren't. he's not gone yet. but he's not far away. i know he doesnt wan't to be like this. so please pray that it's painless. he has no control of his body anymore. just pray that it's quick and painless. i'll be okay. just please, no matter what faith you are, buddhist what have you. just pray that it's fast. thank you.

WHY CANNOT I SLEEEP! I'm not even making sense anymore. Ha. I'm so freaking tired I can barely stand it. I don't know what's going on. I don't know if it's apprehension about going back to work in a week, or it being that I'm still sore. Or if it's an entirely different issue. In the sleepless hours of the wee morning, I cleaned my room up, which killed me. It's so depressing dude, I was out of breath and it took me five minutes to catch it. Fuck. Oh I did find out how to get pictures and videos off my cell phone, that made me happy. Freed up a lot of space on the razr as well. I got the video I took at the Foo show off. It's actually quite good quality for a cell phone. *sigh* What else has been going on? I got my Mayer/Crow tickets. I've been wanting to see him for years. YAY! Sheryl Crow is okay, I like a few songs, but she isn't the reason I'm going. I hope she sings a lot of singles lol. My tattoo doesn't hurt anymore. Nor is it scabbing, bleeding, or itching. I've heard of it happening to other people, but with me I usually get all three. That made me really happy. It's barely even raised and it's only 3 days old. So I'm gonna try and sleep now. It's almost ten thirty in the morning for christ's sake, but I NEEEEEDDDD SLLLLEEEPPPPP Alright, have a lovely day.

So, a week before I go back to work. I don't really want to go back, but oh well. Brings me closer to October, which brings me closer to going to see my Jillian! YAY! Not much has been going on. I saw the doctor Thursday, she said I was healing beautifully, but having pain is still really normal. That made me feel better. Uhh I got a new tattoo yesterday. I got to watch Old School whilst getting it done so it made the time go unbelievably fast because I had something else to focus on. They say getting a tattoo on the small/lower of your back is the worst, and I would have to agree. I've never ever cried during a tattoo, but I welled up. Well here it is
Pretty, yes. I know it's not exactly dead on, but anyone who can get 98.9 percent of Brandon Boyd's designs right, deserves a fucking cookie! The only thing that is a bit off is her expression and I probably should have brought the book in with me, but I just printed it off the internet, and when I looked at the picture, it was kinda small and I could see where he would think that was her expression oh well, it's still his drawing dammit. It's always been my favorite. I may add color later, I haven't decided yet. Well I'm starving, so dinner time. <3

So, my dear children, tonight was the lovely Foo Fighters acoustic show. Allison came down and we were off to Berkeley. We got there and walked around for a bit. I was tired before we left, because I have zero fucking energy. So I was really winded and wiped out by the time we got to the venue. We were in the last possible row you could be in. The upper balcony too. So it was REALLY the last row we could be in. Timmy Curran, the opener nearly put us to sleep. Not that he wasn't good, his music is just super mellow, and for those of you wondering, yes it was the world famous surfer Tim Curran. Yum. Anyhoo, so about 35 minutes later, Foo comes on. Fucking Pat Smear was playing with them, how awesome is that? So even though we're in the very last row, we're enjoying it, we can still see because it's a theatre. It's about halway through and this guy walks up and says something about is there three people up here and I was like "uhh not that I know of, are you looking for someone?" and he goes "I have these tickets and there is three." And I say, "well it's me and my best friend" and "he goes is there a single person then?" and I pointed to the lady next to me, and he goes "Okay how would you like to be in third row?" and I started laughing and said "uhhh what?!" and he goes on to explain that he and his party have to leave, and they are in the third row, and they wanted to give the tickets to someone who could use them. So he just randomly picks people in the last row. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! We were so close we could see Dave's sweat. I got pictures and a bit of video on my razr. So we spent the last hour and a half of the concert in the FUCKING THIRD ROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So this goes out to the guy with the goatee and glasses in the blue stripey shirt and jeans in Berkeley or wherever he hails from. WE LOVE YOUUU! I was like "You're the fucking coolest, I love you!" and he was like totally brushing it off, like it was nothing. How awesome was he, He made our whole night. I couldn't believe it, and I still don't. Allison, you are my god damn good luck charm, minus the fucking close call in the car, which was entirely my fault. Yeah. But we're fine and that's all that matters. Scary. Yeah. So we saw an amazing concert from the third row. Yeah. I love the Grohl. He's a cutie pie. And I am definitely going next time they come around. Definitely. I have to take my pain medication before I die from pain. It's horrible. I haven't hurt this much in a since the first week after surgery, but it was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo worth it.

I won't spoil it for anyone I will just say this, and you will know EXACTLY what I mean when you have seen it. TOTAL MIND FUCK!!!! Great movie. I loved it. Johnny was amazing as per usual.

I just got tickets to the midnight showing of Pirates!!!!! WOOO! I know sitting there is gonna kill me, but I don't care. Captain Jack Sparrow, here I come!

i feel really pueky and i have an upset stomach and i cant stop sweaitng. I need to go to the bathroom and it wont come maybe thats why whoknows. Im gonna go take a cold shower to calm me down. goondight all.

ps - al, sorry I freakerd you out a bit tonight, i freaked myself out too.

So this band we call Incubus is playing an Amnesty International show on April 29th in Portland, Oregon. It is an acoustic show. One night only from five men who said they weren't playing ANY shows this year. And guess who is going....MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Okay. So I couldn't sleep the night before the trip. I got maybe 10 minutes if that. I got to the airport and I was nervous. but the flight was very smooth. I got down to LA and Misty and Jill were a little late. We gave each other hugs and got into a cab. The driver was fucking insane. We got to the hotel and hung around for a bit. Misty wasn't feeling very well so Jill and I went down to Citywalk to get us all some lunch. We went to Sephora on Hollywood and Highland first. I got some makeup. Then it was over to universal. Jesus Christ on the way back on the tram thing, there was this crazy ass lady who kept asking the driver what his favorite word was she was like "how do you say go to lunch...my favorite word is go to church." It was fucking hilarious. There were some minor diffuculties during the night haha. We made it to the Knitting Factory. And I um, I. I MET FUCKING CHRIS KILMORE, JOSE PASILLAS, AND FUCKING BEN FUCKING KENNEY! Yeah. It was amazing. I met Ashley too, owner of incubusfan.net She's such a sweetie. We sat upstairs and I see Kil walk by and he's talking to Isabel, and I got the balls to walk over and say "Hi, I'm Misty and Jill's friend, Dori. I just wanted to introduce myself." and we shook hands and he was like "nice to meet you." then i went back and sat down and slammed back my Patron shot. It was good. And he saw me do it. Priceless. Then after a bit I see Jose walk by. Misty hit his hat and he was like huh. and she' was like oh sorry and he smiles and says "It's all good." Agent Sparks opened up. They weren't bad. Then around 10 Divison Group came on. Awesome. Show was amazing. Seriously. I was in awe of Ben's voice. It just had so much depth and range. And Neal Evans is so badass. He was really fucking cute up close. So I got the balls to go downstairs with Misty and talk to Kilmore again. I asked for a picture, and he was more than happy to oblige. He was just so awesome, so Misty took the picture and we talked to him for a few before going back upstairs to watch the show again. What I find hilarious, we were waiting all night to hear wrong and when they finally started playing it, we were talking to Kil. So anyway we were watching the show and Jose was milling about upstairs. He was talking to some of the sound techs. When he came out of the booth, Misty was like "there is your chance, go take it." I went down there and another chick asked him, and I took the picture. Then I asked him and he was like "That's what I'm here for!" He was so nice. He was a lot shorter than I expected. Total ham and just so awesome. After the show. I was sitting down by the bar. And Jill comes over and says "you have to go over there." and I said "why" and shes like "neal and ben are over sigining" and i was like "are you serious?" I went over there and Ashley and Alexis were already there. We were all waiting our turn. I finally got to Ben and just got his attention. I said "Ben I want to say how amazing your new album is and how awesome the show was and I'm sure you remember Misty" And his whole face lit up and said "Yeah!" and was so happy to see her and Jill and we talked and I said how Misty flew from Iowa and Jill was from Colorado. And how I just flew up that night at 7:15am. and he was like "Damn? 7:15? I was asleep dreaming of riding giraffes and shit!" and he made hand gestures and it was just great and we we all talking for about 5 minutes or so. I asked for a picture and he was like "Oh sure!" he pulled Misty in and pulled me so close into him that his beard was touching my face. and said "okay I'm doing the James Bond face" and Jill took it. Then we were saying goodbye to him and he hugs Misty and hugs Jill. I go to shake his hand and he pulls me into this big hug. He was such a sweet guy. He was like "Stick with these girls, they always seem to be in the right place at the right time." It was just an amazing show and night. Then when we got back to the hotel, Jill passed out, but Misty and I stayed up all night talking and fucking laughing at everything. Then Sunday we finally woke up around 11, and went to Olvera Street for lunch and it's the best mexican you'll ever have in your life. Oh man. Chicken and cheese flautas and margaritas! Okay I have pictures, so I shall share now.

( Holy shittles I met 3/5 of Incubus. )

So I was in the breakroom at lunch, minding my own business, eating my salad. I open cosmo up to start reading and (Patricia Lin Shu, you will VERY MUCH APPRICIATE THIS!)...


POW! Lightning bolt straight to my girlie bits! I screamed/gasped. I was immidiatly VERY TURNED ON! My coworker Janet, who was also in the breakroom looked at me and started laughing. My good fucking christ. He looks like Brandon Boyd. I can see that about him. Oh fuck fuck fuck and he's only 23. FUUUCK. And his hair so preetttyyy. I love the sideburns. Oh man.

More from the mag:
Apolo melts the ice? Ha. More like Apolo melts my crotch...oh wait...did I say that aloud...my bad.

Fuck me, he's gorgeous.